Playing in the Traffic

I am finally allowing myself to believe in Spring. It may not be barbecue weather yet, but at least it has stopped snowing.

I feel like I am coming out of hibernation, blinking into the light and with a serious vitamin D deficiency.
But such is the lot of parents that when we are given with the one hand, something is taken away with the other.

While we are delivered from children bouncing off the walls in over-heated houses, we also have to contend with the terrible parenting dilemma that comes with older children and warmer weather: how much freedom should I allow my precious son/daughter? When our children hit 8 or 9, we not only lose the will to live every time we find ourselves shivering in a playground, but we are increasingly a spare part to our children, in danger of cramping their style.

And yet, it also feels counter-intuitive to let them go alone.
The scariest thing about it is that, for the first time in our lives as parents, there aren't a million "experts" telling us exactly what to do. Browse a bookshop or the internet and you wont find anyone prepared to nail their colours to the mast and answer this question head-on. The NSPCC website has a whole booklet dedicated to keeping your child safe when they are out alone.
It is full of really useful, calm and pragmatic advice.

However, the closest it gets to providing guidance to parents on the question of when is the right moment to give that freedom, is to provide 2 case studies: 1 of a 5 year old allowed to the shops and swings alone, and the other of a 14 year old who is never allowed out unaccompanied.
Obviously 5 is too young and 14 is too old, but for those with children in between these ages, this simply doesn't help.
This uncertainty brings the worst out in me, as I find myself caring deeply about how my parenting decisions are being judged by others. When my daughter goes to the shop on her own and takes 30 seconds longer coming home than expected, I find myself (to my shame) rehearsing in my mind what other people would be saying about her abduction and my responsibility for it.

I am afraid I am not going to provide you with the answer here.

All I know is that the first time I let each of my children go to the corner shop on their own (aged 8), they came home with a face-full of sweets and a good inch taller.
It may be the most nerve-wracking thing you have done as a parent, but when you decide your child is mature enough to be given some responsibility for themselves, it is one of the most gratifying experiences to watch them rise to the challenge and embrace it. Added to which, you will never have to heave on your coat to go and buy a pint of milk again - it's win, win all round!